With all the buzz from The Tinder Swindler film, here are seven red flags to help keep you safe as you search for love on mobile dating apps and IRL.
Excessive Bragging. On profiles, when someone brags about money or poses in front of fancy cars that might not be theirs, it’s a red flag. Talking about a lavish lifestyle with private planes and constant traveling is a reason to pause. The Tinder Swindler boasted about money, traveling the world, and always dressed in expensive designer clothing.
They live in a different country. If the person you’re chatting with resides out of the country, it’s easier for them to catfish someone and live a double life. In the documentary, Simon was charming women from London, Sweden, and Amsterdam, none from his home country of Israel.
Asking to Communicate Outside the Dating App. Dating safety is a priority for all of us in the industry, and we encourage you to use in-app chat features to track communication. Staying within the app helps us look into suspicious profiles and activity. Simon moved his communication with his dates instantly to What’s App.
Jumping Into an Instant Relationship. When communicating on an app, it’s a red flag if someone says „I love you“ too fast or tells you they’ve never felt this type of connection before. The pursuer will likely define the relationship immediately and ask you to become exclusive to make you feel secure about their love for you. Simon fast-tracked his relationships. His texts indicated he wanted to live with one woman and marry another simultaneously.
Showering You With Expensive Gifts. I say beware of the love bomber who sends fancy roses and over-the-top presents to win your heart. Simon sent an enormous floral arrangement to his date. He whisked her away in a private plane to a fancy hotel on a spontaneous first date to impress her and gain her trust.
They Claim to Be Too Busy to Get Together. Simon was a jet-setter traveling the world. Someone living a double life might be juggling multiple victims while pretending to focus on one in person. Often a scammer will make and break plans and won’t meet in person, using their demanding work schedule to blame.
Emergency Requests for Money. The sob story begins with a crisis that could include a work problem such as difficulty getting paid by a client, a medical emergency, or the need to get a plane ticket to visit you. In Simon’s case, he claimed his life was in danger in the diamond world and asked his trusted victims to send him money with the promise to repay. He frequently got angry and irritated when his victims hesitated to come through.
Julie Spira is America’s Top Online Dating Expert. She’s an award-winning dating coach who’s been helping singles find love online for 25+ years. Follow @JulieSpira on IG.
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