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Healthy Step #1. Take the time you need to heal
When a relationship ends, you’ll need some time to process and reflect on what happened.
Sometimes you know why it ended and sometimes, you really don’t.
To get a clearer perspective of what happened, you’ll want to ask yourself a couple of questions that will help you to understand what went well and what went awry in the relationship so you can recognize it and not repeat it in the future.
What did I love about this man and the relationship?
What didn’t I love about both him and the relationship?
What do I wish could have been different?
What was my role in the relationship that contributed to the breakup?
What are the lessons I learned from being with this man?
What qualities from this man and this relationship would I like to take into my next one?
Healthy Step #2. Be really kind to yourself right now
Try these pampering, fun ways to lift your spirits while you’re in the healing process.
Treat yourself to a beautiful new journal and write down on paper all of the emotions you’re experiencing. This will bring clarity to your situation and will help you release a lot of the anger, sadness and grief you are feeling.
It’s nice during a sad time to have someone take care of you and make you feel momentarily better. Get a relaxing massage to release both the emotional and physical toxins from your body, or pet your dog, or ask a friend for a good hug. You could probably use lots of them right now.
Head out with a friend to your favorite restaurant and over lunch or dinner process the relationship and the breakup. You’ll feel loved and supported by someone who really cares about you.
Make or buy your favorite comfort food. Whether it’s macaroni and cheese or a certain cookie your mom used to make . . . it will momentarily take you back to warm and fuzzier times.
Watch old TV shows or movies that make you laugh. You know what they say . . . laughter is the best medicine.
If you are up to it, volunteer somewhere or offer to assist a friend with a project. Helping others can make you feel better and take your mind off your own troubles for a bit.
Everything can feel really blue after a breakup so consider starting a gratitude journal and write down 3 wonderful things you are grateful for today . . . even if it’s the sky is a beautiful blue or my dog loves me. It’s going to keep you grounded. And it will help you counter some of the sadness that can be overwhelming for you right now by reminding you that good things are still happening around you.
Healthy Step #3. Allow yourself to grieve and mourn the end of a relationship
Don’t hold back.
Let the tears flow.
It’s healthy, it’s a release and it will ultimately help you heal.
Should the sadness get too heavy, get support from a counselor or a trusted friend to help you cope.
Healthy Step #4. Wait to date until you’ve healed
It’s tempting to substitute one man for another but it rarely works.
When you don’t take the time you need to reflect and heal before dating again, you end up bringing open wounds – better known as baggage from your past – into a new relationship.
You’ll know when the time is right to date again because you don’t feel the same intensity of emotions like anger or sadness that you might be feeling now.
Healthy Step #5. Discover yourself again and create a great relationship with you while you are waiting to date
When you’ve been with someone for a while, it’s hard to imagine creating a single life again.
Getting back in touch with yourself can be both exciting and a lot of fun while you’re going through the healing process.
Try signing up for classes you’ve always wanted to take or go see a fun chick flick by yourself or with a friend.
Sign up at MeetUp.com for fun activities that interest you.
You’ll get to meet new like-minded friends who love doing what you like to do plus you’ll get out and have fun.
Breakups are hard.
Yet, when you can see them as an opportunity to get clarity and to heal, you will find that new doors start opening again fairly quickly.
All you have to do is be willing to open that door when you’re ready . . . then walk through it to discover the magic that could be waiting for you on the other side.
How exciting!
So my question to you is how have you coped in the past with a breakup?
I’d love to hear about your healing process and how it worked for you.
Believing in you!
Big hugs ~
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Copyright© 2023 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
On April 5, 2023 / Breaking Up After 50 / Leave a comment
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