I believe that first dates are meant
to be light and airy as you spend time getting to know someone. Most women in
their 50s and 60s don’t realize they have choices they didn’t have in their 20s
as to how a man can fit in their life.
Men can be your lover, your friend, your
boyfriend, your companion, your friend with benefits, your husband, or nothing.
You get to decide.
These choices give you the luxury of
taking some time to discover a man’s personality without having to quickly
assess him by using what I call The Dating Resume Questions.
These are questions that you fire
off one after the other like: How many kids do you have? What do you do? What
type of relationship are you looking for? How many times have you been married?
Questions like these make a man feel
like he’s on an interview, and they put you both on edge as you try to make
decisions before a cup of coffee is finished.
Now that you understand you have choice on your side, try using these 5 soft questions to find out more about a man’s life. These questions can be far more revealing, and they can make your date far more fun and interesting as you spark good conversations that help create a connection between the two of you.
With so much to watch on Netflix and
Amazon Prime, asking about their favorite TV show can create hours of good conversation.
If
you have a pet, you want someone who will appreciate your baby, and that’s why
this question is a good one for weeding out men who are allergic to animals or
don’t like cats or dogs – or reptiles!
You
should also find out your time preference compatibility, especially for the times
you are on vacation. You don’t want to be looking at a romantic moon by
yourself every night on the balcony of a cruise ship because he’s gone to bed
at 9 p.m.
Significant
events make an impact on our lives, and we can usually remember where we were
when they happened.
Examples
of these are: Where were you when you heard President Kennedy had been shot? Or
where were you when you first heard the Beatles? Or what was your favorite band
at Woodstock? Looking back, would you have gone? Sharing history can create a
strong connection.
Sharing
your restaurant favorites is a great set up for future dates. He’ll have an
idea where you like to go, so he can be successful at planning a future date. This
question will also reveal whether your food tastes are compatible. If you’re a
vegan and he’s a major meat eater, this could be a problem.
In
the past, I would have said absolutely don’t bring up politics on a first date.
But, in today’s very divided world, I think it’s important to get an idea of
where someone stands on issues that are important to you.
Now
that being said, it should not be the first thing you ask about. Sometimes, as
you get to know someone, you’re better able to tolerate differences than you
are on a first date. If this topic is a deal breaker for you, then mention it
in your profile.
Ok,
so you like the guy and maybe he likes you, but you want to remember you’re on
a date not in a relationship. You come across as super needy and desperate when
you breach the “future” topic on the first date.
Of
course you’re curious about the guy’s previous relationship, but unless he brings
it up, leave this question for when you really get to know him. It may have
been a bad breakup, and bringing it up before he is ready to share can really
sour a 1st date.
I
know you want to get some idea as to whether a man can support himself, but asking
after his finances should be left for when you’re ready to explore creating a
relationship. As you get to know him, note where he takes you. It will give you
an idea about his lifestyle.
As
with the previous question, you may be trying to assess if a man is financially
sound but now’s not the time.
The
only purpose of a first date is to have fun meeting someone new and interesting
so you can decide if you want a second date if he asks. Let the conversation
flow with questions that connect you. This is what creates an attraction and
can lead to the long term relationship you’re looking for.
What questions do you usually ask on a first
date? What questions do you get asked? Which topics tend to sour the mood? When
do you have the most fun on a first date? Please share your experiences with
our community!
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