Communicating online should be simple. With plenty of time to craft your responses and no need for eye contact or awkward silences – or even to get off the couch – there’s no easier way to say exactly what you mean.
So why does it sometimes feel like everyone is speaking a different language? Why do so many chats amount to nothing, or – worse – go on for weeks?
It’s time to stop wasting data and start making the most of your apps. With a (very little) bit of intensive research and lot of lived experience, we’ve taken the guesswork out of meeting guys online. Read on for the Emen8 guide to decoding his chat.
What he means: Hello there. You are one of seventeen guys who just received this.
Is there any chance we can have sex tonight?
If you want anything tonight, you’re going to have to come to my place. Now.
I would really appreciate some foreplay before you try to rail me.
I will not be ignored.
I’m open to anything, as long as it involves your dick and/or ass.
Let’s just see what happens when we take all our clothes off.
I can’t be bothered right now, but who knows how I’ll feel tomorrow?
Please send more pics, preferably nudes, preferably yours.
I can’t tell if I like you from your pics, so I don’t want to commit to more than twenty minutes.
I’ve been waiting for an STI to clear up.
I found someone else to hook up with in the middle of our last chat.
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